5 ways not to respond to a vegetarian

5 ways you should not respond to a vegetarian when they first share this fact with you:

• Do you eat chicken? No, chickens are not vegetables. Asking someone if they eat fish is not as bad, as there are so many people that are pescatarian I can understand the confusion. Someone who says they are a vegetarian but then answers yes to this question is greatly confused. Give me the benefit of the doubt that I know what I'm saying.
  
• Really? How do you get protein? If you are asking this question with the genuine intent of discussing nutritional philosophies, then its a great conversation starter. But more often than not it's said more as a statement of disapproval. Are you ready to answer the return question of how you get your fiber? Your calcium? Your various vitamins?
  
• That's cool. Sometimes I eat veggie burgers instead of real ones. It's funny to point out that despite the fact that your meals most likely contain a large number of non-meat ingredients, it's really the almighty veggie burger that defines vegetarianism.
  
• I'd like to be a vegetarian, but I could never give up [fill in meat product here]. If you really wanted to be a vegetarian you'd find a way to give it up. This statement is almost always just a space filler until the next conversational topic comes up.
  
• But your shoes have leather in them. First of all you are confusing veganism with vegetarianism. And secondly, yes, I am quite aware of this fact already.
  

Bonus round! Good ways to respond:

• How long have you been vegetarian? Why? I actually hate to answer the why question, because I'm not a militant vegetarian and don't want to come off as one. But at least its a good way to start a dialog.
  
• I don't believe in vegetarianism because... It's interesting to hear different belief systems, and I'm always open to new ideas/research/etc.
  
• Interesting! Anyway, about that other thing...If you're not interested in talking about my vegetarianism, that's fine with me. I rarely tell people I'm a vegetarian unless the situation necessitates it or if it fits in the conversation. By all means, feel free to change the subject.
  
• In what way do you obtain vitamin b12? Ah - you know what it means to be a vegetarian. You may have been one for awhlie or at least read about it before.
  
• Awesome! I've been meaning to try out this really interesting recipe that has no meat in it. Come on over for dinner! Sweet, free food for me!